home is no longer home. now it's worst. i've never tell anyone, and to those i've poured out, they were so ignorant. probably it's true, nobody care what you feel because it's aint their problem it's aint their feelings, but when they are upset when they get sensitive they expect you to care they expect you to give ur 101% attention and love.

i no longer like going home, every single time i get said for the same thing i hear the same thing i get scolded shouted for the same thing. when i go out, i get text over the same thing. when i meet dad, i get my morning ruined over the same thing. when i go over sham's we argue over the same thing we do the same thing i wait over the same thing. words are nothing. they either a soothing music to the ear or are sharp as knives. 

it feel so terrible seeing my own blood ones fighting over each other. seeing knives, punches flying against each other. and when it comes to family this word, i get so weak on my knees. yet, i put up a smile like it's ok like it's a norm everytime. no one saw through it. and when i tried to pour it out, it felt like a joke. i rather remained silent and personal. 

it's so hard finding someone who'll care enough. or maybe i'm the one expecting more? sigh. probably i'm the one who care too much always, caring for their feelings caring for their company caring if they'd be bored if i'm doing things w/o them leaving them alone caring if they are sick if they have their proper meals correctly caring about how their day went caring about every single detail about them... somedays i just want to be independent but even the strongest fall down sometimes.

what should i do?

nothing feels right anymore in here.

i feel so 

alone.

drowning in all these

suck it up.

"It's not always easy, but that's life. Be strong. Know that there are better days ahead."