2013, I remembered how bad of a start was it. I tried and tried but I grew tired of chasing, I felt that I was taken granted for the whole time I eventually gave up. this phase of letting go was surely hard. I started partying to get rid of my real feelings.. and then I met this guy (whose my current bf now) we dated we went out but eventually he still left because of some issues. I hated love back then, how it rly got me screwed up; so fucked over. I realized how in the end, people still leave. I don't deny I was rly in a down point of life that period, then all the hard liqours all the flashing colourful lights all the night life had became part of me.
I changed my hairstyle to convinced myself for a 'new' me but apparently nothing works.
great friends were by my side. never forgetting A whose like a guy bestfriend to me. never fails to cheer me up, never fails to look after me and care for me.
but I didn't recovered. party.. party and more partying.. it just became a drug, something I need; I go for whenever I'm upset // angry // frustrated. it's like a must 'school' to attend every once or twice or even more a week.
the later part of my 2013 was rather smooth-sailing. just me and S. well.. all that I can say was I thank god I finally opened my eyes and never to look back into the past despite being chased by it. truth to be told - eventho the past never stops haunting me till now but I'm proud to say I'm trying my best to leave those fears aside. was rly a big big blow to me.
on a happier side, I learnt and rly experienced a lot in 2013. being in a new job, being with all sort of weird people, to be independent and more. family who never give up on me, and is always encouraging me.
2014 will be a better year, just want everyone around me to be happy. and complete my diploma!!!!!
till then.
