sick for over a week, although he takes care of me but still I know his priority has changed. it's still friends every day every night even when I am running a fever. even when I am drowsy it's still me alone, enduring and standing strong passing through one hour plus to get home while his out with his friends. perhaps I expect a lot or perhaps to me, it's a guy's responsibility towards treating his girl. and how much he cares/worried about her. going an extra mile for the certain someone. because to me, I'd be willing to do it. like how I struggle to come over with running fever. but I've learn to never expect for if he/she wants to do it he/she will do it willingly and without being asked.
sad but my dad will also be shared with another family from the month of nov. family been talking about it, family been quarreling over it everyday. quarreling over everyone. I'm so tired. I'm so tired of getting criticized, getting hurtful remarks from my own blood mum every since I'm young. it hurts, it really do. but I guess no one understands. just rly need someone who will listen, who will give me a big hug and telling me "he/she understands, everything will get better." 😞
I feel so stressed up. so upset inside to be straight. my anger my emotions I can't suppress it any longer. it's like a devil getting hold of me. I punched the wall without caring I throw my tantrums and temper without caring and I guess I just need to be alone. for the more I realized being around people, I just get mad I just hurt them because I seek more attention and love from them for I am lost upset and hurt inside. and I guess I am selfish I am ignorant I am fucked up this way.
what am I supposed to do? it upsets me that I can't even share to someone closest to me next know and hear me because he don't understand and will only find faults or don't bother.. it's torturing it's tiring:'(
sometimes is not that I am sensitive, it's not that I'm unreasonable or childish but I've feelings and pls knw that.. and I thought it myself, not to care and bother anything will always be the best. one day I'd be numb again like how I used to.
