sometimes i don't understand myself nor what the hell am i doing. when i commit, i rly put in my all but just this time i can't seem to do so. and then i figured out i'm just too afraid. time over time i put in my bestest and ended up getting cheated treatment, not once but twice thrice and so on. i fear if i start giving you my best you'd take it for granted so it seem like i'm taking you for granted now but i'm rly not. but rly, the way you treat me the way you dote on me, you deserve every part of me.. just maybe, i need to step out of my comfort zone even further. there are some parts of me i don't know how to make you understand. i keep everything to myself and i don't show much, that's why you say i'm stubborn. sometimes i feel like we're so different but i'll do whatever it takes to be the one for you.

i just hate when i have thoughts of not being the first. hate thoughts if you ever treated me the same as them. maybe all i ever expect from you is more of your understanding and patience. i don't like when i'm restricted, i clearly know my limits. sigh. nevertheless, i'm comfortably happily in love with you love.