It's been awhile. Now, i'm no longer affected. I guess what they say were right, as time goes by, you get numb you get tired you stop caring about everything. And then you just get nasty and hurtful whenever someone drops by, you push them away and say blunt words without yourself even realizing it. It's became so hard for you to trust someone new, so hard to let down those walls. It became a fear. A fear of letting this heart get broken again till you're so afraid to step out of your comfort zone. You just don't know how to appreciate things after all that hurt and disappointments you once got. And just as you were to trust someone, slowly letting those walls down again they immediately crash it and burn it right after. Then, another one walking out of your life again. Leaving. That's just life, right? People walking in and out of your life like as if your feelings doesn't matter. Those that promise no matter how hard it'll be to stay, just left in the end. Those that said you'll never be forgotten, eventually forgets you. Those who said they'll be there and go through it with you, didn't have that patient. Those who said they love you, but ended up hurting you.
I don't get life. I don't get what am i living for. Because till the end, i'm only gonna die. Till the end, the only person i can trust and depend on it's still me myself and I. Like any other girls, i just want a perfect family, a loving boyfriend, and all my loved ones by my side.. is that so hard to ask for? I don't understand, i don't fucking get it.
