it's tough. i hate how life changes, how growing up sucks. i used to want to hit my 20's and get married off quick when i was in my pre-school age. thinking growing up was easy. thinking money was easy, marriage was easy, kids and education were all easy but no. everything feels so hard so stressful to think about. humans, are hard to please. i don't know how to phase it but it kinda feels like a stone deep in my heart. sigh, i just wish growing up was what i imagined it to be. like the fairytales.
today, as i stepped into a shop in the mall. i saw photo frames decorated with different layouts. it states love/friendship/family. they were all nicely decorated, beautiful. i wanted to get one which stated ''family'' back home, then again i realised, nothing worth capturing in a frame towards this theme. i longed forgotten how a family feels like. how those smiles feels like. then again chancing upon some facebook photo and caption made me felt even worst. sometimes, just sometimes, i wish i got the ability to rewind everything. it just saddens me how much heartbreak they felt. and i guess no matter how i tried to express to someone dear to me how it feels, they'll never be able to feel it..
i wish i could see how my future turns out like. i wish i've the ability to predict, to know it. haven't had a good sleep these few days just thinking, thinking about everything. so tired. tired of life. i feel so lost...........
